Le site "The Low Church's man guide to the Solemn High Mass" fait mine de combattre les "Ritualistes" de la High Church anglicane (tradi pour faire court). Rappel: les anglicans sont divisés en High Church (tradis) et Low Church (papier crépon comme chez nous). Je trouve certains billets hilarants, comme celui sur le thuriféraire et sur le cérémoniaire que je vous ai recopiés ci-dessous !

Le thuriféraire

A thurifer is a lesser Ritualist functionary, ranking below the Master of Ceremonies but above the torchbearers and the people that serve sherry at receptions. The thurifer’s function is to wield a censer which he uses to spew forth noxious clouds of incense when he feels that this is appropriate, which is often.

Prospective thurifers go through an extended process of training in which they are taught the correct technique for the use of the thurible and gradually desensitized to human suffering. The well-trained thurifer will stand with deadpan facial expression and impeccable posture, keeping the thurible under his complete control at all times, even if the person he is censing has collapsed on the floor and seems to have stopped breathing. Because the thurifer’s vestments conceal a self-contained oxygen supply, it is not uncommon for the thurifer to be the only person in the sanctuary still conscious at the end of a particularly complicated censing maneuver, at the conclusion of which the thurifer may open a window or call for an ambulance after reverencing the altar.

Thuribles are heavy. If the thurifer’s arms become tired, he is permitted to pass the thurible to the priest, who will use it to cense objects in the altar area. He must save his energy for the Offertory, at which point a Ritualist congregation expects to see a particularly impressive demonstration of thurible technique. In a typical Ritualist Offertory, the thurifer will cense the clergy in order of seniority, followed by the servers in reverse alphabetical order by last name, followed by the pieces of sacred artwork in ascending order by assessed market value, and finally the congregation. If there are a particularly large number of statues in the sanctuary, or if an archbishop wanders into the service unexpectedly, the censing can last for a substantial length of time, filling the church with toxic gas.

Le cérémoniaire

If a loyal churchman were to attend a Solemn High Mass (we are speaking here, of course, in purely hypothetical terms), he would see a throng of strangely-dressed people behaving oddly. By the time the service reaches its full swing, a wide variety of functionaries will be fulfilling various tasks: the organist is playing something, the choristers are screeching, the verger is guarding the chancel entrance, the thurifer is thurifing, and the sacred ministers are shuffling awkwardly in their ill-fitting shoes. Yet a closer look would reveal a person who doesn’t seem to be doing anything; he is wearing a cassock and surplice, and occasionally directs peremptory gestures toward the other people in the chancel. Who is he and what is he doing?

This person is an MC (Master of Ceremonies), and what he is doing is destroying Anglicanism. The means by which he destroys Anglicanism is to make gestures that signal the other participants in the service to perform various tasks. At a wave of the hand from the MC five torchbearers appear from out of nowhere and form a line in front of the altar; at a nod of the head from the MC the sacred ministers rise in a coordinated motion and assemble at the altar steps for the Offertory; at a flare of the nostrils from the MC the thurifer seizes and carries away a preacher whose forced attempts at humour have been unsuccessful. The MC must be an expert in ceremonial, since he must ensure that the chaotic madness that transpires in the chancel under his direction is in accord with the chaotic madness described in Ritual Notes. Because all the participants in the Solemn High Mass are made to swear an oath of solemn obedience to the MC for the duration of the service, no action can be taken except under his direct supervision. If, for example, the MC becomes incapacitated during the reading of the postcommunion prayer, the celebrant is not permitted to proceed with the final blessing, but must stand silently in place until a member of the congregation realizes what has happened and calls for an emergency replacement MC to be sent to the parish.

Various sorts of people serve as MCs in ritualist churches. At a service of special note, another priest may serve as MC; priests do this if they have fallen upon hard times and are unable to find other employment. Usually, however, the MC is a layman who has worked his way up to the top of the parish acolyte’s guild by slaying his predecessor in ritual battle.

D'autres billets du même genre, c'est inégal mais quand même souvent assez réussi je trouve : Source

     

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